I claim it’s him I hate so much. and while I know that he is a total dick, I also know that it’s myself that I hate. for allowing him into my head and to take over so many of my fucking thoughts. I can’t fucking focus and it pisses me off because I did this to myself. I knew what I was doing. I was an idiot, as usual. and now I can barely do anything because I’m just so angry and annoyed and upset. fuck him. fuck myself. I only have myself to blame.